How to let go in 5 steps. When holding on, is holding you back
Everyone gets hurt. Experiencing upset is a part of life, it’s practically guaranteed that you will feel hurt at some point in life. Holding on to hurt can be more damaging than the hurt itself though. So how you process hurt, what you choose to do with it, is more important than that feeling itself Not letting go can be more damaging to you, so here’s my 5 steps of how to let go of the past and move forward.
What to do when you get hurt
Well, when you get hurt you have a decision to make. You can think about it over and over, ruminating about it, something that is been and gone and cannot be changed, OR you can let it go and allow yourself to be free to move forward.
Its usual to blame others for our hurt, but unless you can get an acknowledgement from the person who hurt you, that what they did was wrong, and sometimes even if you do get that it still not enough, how can you move on?
Whether you need to let go of someone you love because they have hurt you, or letting go of a relationship that is toxic, instead of being trapped in the cycle of pain, anguish and overthinking, I recommend you consider the following:
- Acceptance. Make a conscious decision to accept you have control here over what you do next. Accept that you can choose to do something different and consciously decide to let it go
- Acknowledge. Seriously it is ok to be pissed. You have been hurt, it is fine to have that emotion, there is nothing wrong with your feelings. You can learn how to sit with those emotions that you don’t like having, so that they don’t bother you. Hypnosis is wonderful for helping you do this.
- Be responsible. For your own happiness, and your own actions. If you played a part in what happened then be honest about it. Its liberating to be able to say “you know what I screwed up too, but I can deal with it now” Also, if you continue to let said person who committed the crime to continue holding such power over you, whose really in charge? Its ballsy to be able to do this, be proud of that.
- Pause, and be present. What is actually happening right now? Really take note of your life right now. Stop rewinding or fast-forwarding time. If you continue living in the past, going over that old event, that you can’t change, you are not living your life right now. If you are fortune telling and pre-empting that the same thing will happen again, you are not really living either. You are not making the most of what you do have. Right now.
- Learn to forgive. I absolutely do not mean agreeing with what they did. Or saying that it is ok. No. Forgiveness is not about that. Its saying “I forgive you because it’s better for me to do that”, I absolutely give you permission to be selfish about it, because it is better for you to forgive than it is to hold on to it. Also forgive yourself. Self-blame does nothing to help you move forward.
Now of course there are many different things that can cause hurt, there are many reasons to let go. It doesn’t always have to be hurt, sometimes you just grow apart from people, your life changes, you need to let her go, you need to let him go.
Regardless of your reason to let it go, you don’t want to get caught up feeling frustrated, angry or bitter. That is such a waste of your energy. Energy that you could be directing on something much more wonderful, and also I understand that it is not always easy.Thats why hypnotherapy to help you let go and move forward is great.
Letting go of past memories
Sometimes there are really terrible memories that crop up when you think of that person who hurt you. Those memories are wired to fire off and remind you even when you are not expecting it. But that is the beauty of hypnosis. You CAN MOVE those memories; you can rewire them and file them away in storage. If your past is holding you back, stopping you from moving forward, then call me. I can help you to unpick those memories, you don’t need to be reliving that same old hurt over and over. Its not about pretending something didn’t happen, its about acknowledging that it is there, and saying “you know what, I don’t need this anymore”. You can chuck it in a box, seal it away and put it in the back of the metaphorical loft where you don’t need it to be opened anymore.